What I Wish I’d Known About Being Neurodivergent and Pregnant

When I became pregnant, I didn’t know I was neurodivergent. I was excited, curious, and eager to learn everything I could. A year before getting pregnant, I had a very bad episode with high anxiety and panic attacks. I knew I was a very sensitive and anxious person and I kinda assigned all my struggles to anxiety. Being unusually sensitive, easily overwhelmed, and maybe a little too intense about things I cared about, just seemed like part of that. I thought it was all because of anxiety. Looking back now—after being diagnosed with ADHD and autism, so much of my pregnancy experience makes sense. I see it all in a totally different light.

This post is a reflection on what I wish I’d known back then. If you’re also going through pregnancy with a neurodivergent brain, I hope this helps you feel more seen, accepted,  prepared, and less alone.

Neurodivergent and Pregnant Without Knowing it: How My Special Interest Helped Me Thrive

I actually did a lot to help me handle the pregnancy as a neurodivergent person, even though, I didn’t know at the time that I was neurodivergent.

Pregnancy became a full-on special interest for me. I studied everything: anatomy, hormones, birth stories (positive ones), movement, positions, the role of gravity – it all fascinated me. At the time, I just thought I was being extra curious. I didn’t realize how beautifully this kind of deep-dive thinking was connected to how my brain works. And I didn’t know this special interest would help me through pregnancy, and later lead me to become a doula, nurse and a midwife.

What helped me most during pregnancy was my focus on natural birth, which I was deeply fascinated by.  I read all about it: natural birth, home birth, hypnobirthing. I went to yoga classes, bought CD’s with yoga and meditation music, and practiced relaxation. Also, I always sat on that yoga ball. I knew it was a “thing” when pregnant, but I didn’t know at the time that it was helping me stim and stay calm and grounded.

I did all this because I was determined to have my birth as natural as possible and that meant I had to be as calm as possible. So without knowing it, I was doing lots of things to help my neurodivergent brain get through the pregnancy. 

The fact that everything went wrong during my birth and it ended up being anything but natural, that’s a whole other story. At least all this preparation helped me so much during pregnancy itself.

Why Prenatal Appointments Can Be Draining For Neurodivergent Pregnant People

I was so excited for my first prenatal visit with a midwife at 12 weeks, but I ended up going home in tears. The midwife I met with was older, clearly not very passionate about her work anymore, and had the kind of personality I just couldn’t be around. She talked loud and fast. She felt cold, rushed, and emotionally unavailable, and I left that appointment feeling completely dismissed and overwhelmed.

Thankfully, I knew I had the right to ask for a different midwife, and for my next visit, I met someone who was amazing. She was calm, kind, and so easy to be around. It made a huge difference for me. I felt safe and empowered after the visits with her.

If you’re pregnant and neurodivergent, it’s really important to know your rights and check if it’s possible to switch midwives (or doctors) in your area. You have the right to feel safe and supported during your pregnancy and birth.

Prenatal checkups can be quite enjoyable, especially if the whole thing becomes a special interest for you. Later on in the pregnancy, you get to hear your baby’s heartbeat which is amazing. But these visits can also be a lot: small talk, bright lights, waiting rooms, and the huge amount of information can be exhausting for a neurodivergent brain.

If you feel comfortable, tell your midwife or doctor about your neurodivergence and ask what accommodations might be available for you. You could bring a written list of questions and ask for things to be explained slowly or repeated. It’s also a good idea to bring someone with you who can help you take in information and make you feel safe. A good provider will want to work with you to make it all easier.

Key Takeaways

• You can support your neurodivergent brain during pregnancy, even if you haven’t been diagnosed or don’t know you’re neurodivergent yet.
  
• Studying pregnancy topics (like birth, anatomy, or hypnobirthing) can be a special interest that helps you feel calm, focused, in control, and empowered.
  
• Simple tools like a yoga ball, calming music, and daily routines can act as self-regulation and stimming without you even realizing it.
  
• Wanting a calm, natural birth can be part of a larger effort to stay regulated. This is valid and important, especially for autistic and ADHD parents.
  
• You have the right to switch midwives or doctors if someone makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or dismissed.
  
• Emotional safety and provider personality matter—especially when you’re neurodivergent and pregnant.
  
• Medical appointments can be overstimulating due to noise, lighting, small talk, and information overload. This is normal for many ND people.
  
• You can ask for accommodations during appointments (e.g., slower pace, written info, support person).
  
• You’re not too sensitive or too intense—your experience is valid, and your needs deserve to be honored. Respect yourself and do what you feel you need to do to feel balanced.
  
• Even if birth doesn’t go as planned, all the preparation you do still matters during pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
  
  

Further Reading:
The neurodivergent perinatal experience — A systematic literature review on autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder – ScienceDirect